January 29th - NEW

Everything this week is new.

My focus.

My plan.

My actions.

My habits.

What’s that you say? I said the same thing four weeks ago? I sure did. And all of those things did change. But here’s the thing…overall I did make these changes and kept them up throughout the month. But I didn’t keep things going as anally as I should have.

It’s Saturday and I’m setting goals? But today is treat day! Sure is. I don’t really deserve it either. But I thought that stirring the pot a little will give me a little more of a refreshed outlook, starting anew, as if it was January 1^st. Because let’s face it, everyone gets excited about new programs on January 1^st. And that happened to me. But once the excitement wore off I was like, “Ok, so I’ve been there done that and I’m bored.” Now I didn’t consciously say or think that, but looking back on it, that’s what was going on subconsciously. Thought for the week: Hmmmm…why is it that the bad habits don’t ever get boring? A topic for another day?

I decided to set my goals today instead of tomorrow so that I will be all set in advance – I want the plan set and in place right when I wake up. Otherwise I sabotage myself myself throughout the morning with too much coffee, and my body then craves yummy stuff. If I make this my usual habit it may also help me to keep my focus up for treat day and not go overboard. I have a certain level of expectations to live up to, so I can keep everything under control.

So here’s what’s going to go down this week:

1. I’m back up to three to five cups of coffee in the morning. Seriously. I only need one. I ONLY NEED ONE CUP OF COFFEE to counteract my night time medications and satisfying my caffeine addiction. A SMOOTHIE WILL TAKE THE PLACE OF THE OTHER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE.

2. I have drank zero drops of water. Well maybe one or two. MORE WATER!

3. Menu planning kinda stopped. We had a basic plan and everything, but I didn’t get excited about meals because there wasn’t a big plan in place in terms of new salads, no feta, nothing to make it interesting. MENU PLANS ARE BEING CREATED WEEKLY ONCE AGAIN.

4. Accountability stopped. I wasn’t checking in with my support group, wasn’t writing my blog and I stopped taking pictures of my meals. DAILY PICTURES OF DINNERS TO BE TAKEN AGAIN. For the times when I’m not dealing with a food diary, at least there is some sort of record of what I’m eating every day. And I don’t have to necessarily post them online, as most of those meals are quite similar in their appearance.

5. That’s another thing, my food diary. I never truly got on board completely with it because it is such a big pain in the ass. It’s not even that hard. I have the Calorie Counter app on my iPhone. Is it that difficult for me to input stuff as I eat it? What’s neat about it is it tells me where I’m at for the needs my body has in an analysis section. CALORIE COUNTER APP WILL BE IN USE REGULARLY.

6. The Biggest Loser Wii game. Well I was supposed to weigh in last night and complete a challenge. I wasn’t that excited to go and I didn’t. So I don’t know what the game is going to do now. Will it change the schedule to weigh in today? I know what the result will be and that is that I will be eliminated. So…CHECK IN WITH THE WII GAME, TAKE THE LOSS IF ELIMINATED AND START A NEW GAME.

7. The Biggest Loser Facebook App: I definitely didn’t neglect this one on purpose. I have worked out more than I’ve logged. Just kept forgetting or was just plain lazy. BEGIN LOGGING WORKOUTS REGULARLY.

8. Addidas MiCoach online program – this is an awesome tool that I just have not been using. I’ve completed two workouts on it, having begun the program two weeks ago. There should have been six workouts completed. DELETE OLD PROGRAM AND BEGIN A NEW ONE THAT I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH.

9. RESEARCH MORE IDEAS FOR DINNER SALADS, KEEPING IT INTERESTING ON A REGULAR BASIS.

10. BEGIN LOOKING FORWARD TO MEALS AGAIN.

So I know I haven’t been much of an inspiration lately guys. Hopefully this week will be a bit better. I’m not the best example to be following but at least you can see that it isn’t easy and if you are having trouble too, then you’re not a bad person for it. Just normal.

HAPPY HEALTH EVERYONE AND DON’T LET THE FEBRUARY BUG BITE YOU IN THE ASS! LET’S ALL STICK TOGETHER AND MAKE THIS WORK! BE NEW WITH ME! 

January 17: Still Gaining Weight? You were designed for it! Don’t beat yourself up over it! HONK HONK!

So what happens when you start your weight loss program or even a “time to get healthy” program and you notice your weight going up? Do you pack it in and say, "Fuck it, it’s been two weeks and nothing is working!” or do you keep on trucking? (Honk!)

Is your spouse getting massive results and you’re struggling to keep up? How about your friends? Keep in mind that there are all kinds of things involved that your success will depend on: gender, metabolism, age, lifestyle, genes etc etc. I’m sure you’ve heard all this shit before!

Well here’s something you may not have heard about. And I know I read about this somewhere I just can’t remember where the fuck I found this info. If anyone knows, please let me know so I can update this entry and give the proper credit to the author(s).

Your body, no matter who you are has been DESIGNED to gain weight for survival!

Pardon? Ok Gnat, so you had me when you talked about the fictitious bullshit of some red tighted kool-aid dude flying through your wall and forcing sugar-loaded "juice," on you, but I was designed to gain weight? Ok that’s just fucked up!

Or is it? Maybe this is the explanation we have needed for all of our failed attempts (assuming you’ve tried before)?

Seriously, let’s think about this for a second (or a minute?): so the average person, even if they are not overweight may put on a few pounds when beginning a healthier lifestyle. Why would this be? Let’s think back…WAAAAAAY back…to “back in the day” as old people always say (wait a minute *I* say that! <shrug>).

Ok, so “back in the day,” humans had to forage for their food. There were times quite often where food was scarce right? So their bodies went into starvation mode. Then when they were able to eat, they ate, and they ate as much as they could. Their bodies would then store whatever they could to prepare for the next period of starvation. This was also a good time for the body to “clean house” so to speak or cleanse itself is a better way to put it (I read that somewhere else years ago lol…can’t remember what fucking book I read it in – I read a lot of health books haha, you’d think I would be healthier than I am!).

I believe this is how the average person lives now, not because there isn’t enough food, but we are eating a diet that is lacking in the nutrient department. And isn’t that the point of food? To nourish our bodies in order to keep them strong and healthy? Hmmm…

So when we stop starving our bodies of nutrients, overweight or not, all of a sudden we start to gain weight because our bodies are designed to store what it can to prepare for the next starvation period. Doesn’t this make sense? That’s what our bodies used to do and continue to do!

Now I have no evidence or proof of this, all I can tell you is I read it in some fucked up book somewhere or other and I can’t for the life of me remember where the fuck! Believe me or not I believe it as it makes total sense to me.

So if you are moving in the “wrong” direction according to the goals you’ve set, don’t get upset or beat yourself up over it. It just isn’t worth it! Keep at it and HONK along the way!

Ready for the dinner I made tonight? Mmmmm, this is my own concoction…I’m thinking of calling it a Christmas Salad because it’s mainly red and green (all we really had in the fridge) and there’s a couple of ingredients that you probably would more likely eat on special occasions.

 

Spinach, Candied Salmon (any type of smoked will do), cherry tomatoes, strawberries, red peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, I wanted to put on feta but we were all out! I then topped it with shrimp and yes there are a FEW croutons and a tiny sprinkle of those salad onions that are oh so good but oh so bad for you. Then again, this really was a moderation dish for the “bad” or high fat items. I felt completely satisfied after eating it and enjoyed it almost as much as I enjoy pizza, and that’s really saying something! Olive Oil finished the flavour palette. J Not sure if I missed anything but that is the general jist of it.

Happy Health everyone! Please comment with your thoughts either here or on Facebook!

January 14 - The Biggest Loser? Me? I Think Not!

And here’s why! Well I’ll babble a little first – I know you guys are always waiting on the edge of your seats to read my rants haha. Right? Uh huh! J

Well let’s see. There’s been less blog entries. Less workouts. Less buzz. No water ingested. No pics of the wonderfully healthy meals that I’ve been making. Some cream cheese icing left over from Christmas eaten (yes almost the whole tub over two days – that’s 70 calories per tablespoon). Oh dear.

And…da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! It’s Biggest Loser Weigh-In day! 

Unfortunately, it’s also Challenge day. Last week I had a terrific weigh-in. But alas, I came in last for the challenge. I’m not too sure why. There’s no bloody way I can do football runs faster than that. Anyway, the main thing was I had a great result in the weigh in if you remember my previous postings.

So today I had to do more of those damned football runs, ugh. But I came in first today. Not sure what I did differently. My comments from Bob or whatever the fuck his name is were he was particularly impressed with the results of my challenge.

Weigh in time. Booooo! Normally I look forward to those days. Today I was dreading it. With all I listed above I knew I was not going to have much of a positive result. In fact, I was possibly facing elimination tonight. I came in under the yellow line along with Drea and I barely made it...I beat that bitch out. 

So this week I have to step my game back up. Back to being anal. Back to being the annoying rah-rah girl that I am.

But guess what? Something has occurred to me this week and it’s something quite fascinating. Something wonderful! Right from day 1, my daughter Kaitlin was changing her food habits right along with me. For two whole weeks we were on her about how things were going to change, and they were changing DRASTICALLY after the Christmas season. She seemed ok with it when we kept nagging her. And I expected her to put up quite a fight along the way.

No fight. In fact, she ASKS for the healthy stuff all the time. Oranges coming outta her ass whole because she devours them! She asks for vegetables on a regular basis. Bananas regularly too. Peppers! Oh yes, peppers. She even TRIED spinach! I had no idea that all this time I was setting such a bad example for my child!

I’m so proud of Kaitlin! The picture below is of the snack that she requested! She asked for oranges and I asked if she could maybe have a vegetable instead. She said, how about both? Can I have some red pepper with it? I said great. I didn’t tell her that we were out of red pepper lol. Handed it over with green pepper, explained it when she questioned me and she ate almost all of them.

I may not be the Biggest Loser on my Wii game, but I’m the biggest winner when it comes to improving my daughter’s health and habits this month! I'm a positive role model for her hooray (well she doesn't know about the frosting binge so we'll leave that in the vault)!

Oh Dear - The Red Guy In Tights Came A Knockin’! (Or should I say A Crashin'?)

Well it’s accountability time. And I was so happy and so proud but I slipped a little. At least I was responsible about it.

There’s just something about some big fat red dude with a huge face wearing tights who crashes through a big wall yelling, “Oh Yeaahhhhh!” Because we’re all thinking, “WTF? I want me some of that! What’s he drinking? I want it too!”

Now you know I’m talking shit and there wasn’t literally a big red jug of juice flying through my wall; it’s more of what he represents. Today I wanted crunchy sugary carbs, the wrong kinds of course. So I had a bowl of multigrain cereal. Coulda been worse right?

So am I fired? Ha ha, I hope not. This is real and if you are actually reading this hopefully I can somehow support you and make you feel normal through the hard times. Especially when the juice man comes a knockin’…he’s like a drug you know! Very hard to say no to the Juice Man. He represents so many things that will keep me from my goal and I’m sure your goals as well.

I mean let’s look at a few things – he comes crashing through a wall for crying out loud! So if his sugary drink or an equivalent snack makes us feel like we can do that, well, that’s just stupid! Who thinks like that: if you don’t like to eat vegetables, then just become one instead haha!

And of course we know the sugar is just no damned good for us. Refined sugar is surely not going to give us that energy burst they’re trying to advertise! In fact, it’s going to give us the opposite effect in the long run.

Then there’s the whole argument of – “Oh you can control how MUCH sugar you put in it!” Oh brother, give me a break! Part of the whole problem with the North American regular diet is how we’ve bastardized the form of our food. Chemicals, crap and more crap.

Seriously. It’s bad enough that they are genetically changing fruits and vegetables (I mean come on-Grapples? Let’s get serious here. Why would you why would you why would you????) – Yes that’s one thing, but to completely change it and refine it is just creating fake food (even some of the foods we are supposedly told are good for us!) – This fake food is what is partially responsible for killing us. Our bodies don’t really know what to do with it…or so I’ve been reading in the past 10 years or so. Let me know if you want some titles.

So the next time good ‘ol Juice-in-tights-man comes crashing through your walls (an expensive house reno to go with it too!), THINK about what you are doing to your body, your brain (yes it’s affected too!), and your self-esteem after the fact. Get a buddy whether in real life or online that you can turn to. Have a glass of water with lemon juice in it to try to cut into your cravings. Eat some fruit. You’ll feel so much better for it!

 What went well? Where do I need to improve this week?

My Treat Day meal, so good!

My diet wasn’t perfect. I still had coffee, which to be fair, I kinda need in the morning because I am taking a highly sedating medication at night and the effects are not finished by morning. I can’t take it earlier in the evening because I’ll be knocked out in a matter of minutes, no joke!

So what I’m going to do about this is see my doctor, since I need to update her on how it’s going with me cutting my dose in half. What I want to share with her is what I’ve been doing with diet and exercise and how tired I am before bed now BEFORE taking my medication. So since she approved my dose reduction, would she support a total cut of it? Might be interesting. Then we’ll see how I am with my daytime medications in a few months.

Dinner Jan 9

Other aspects of my diet were that I did at times skip meals. Bad thing to do on this type of journey. At least I wasn’t cheating much if at all. I need to drink more water. I think I would have had better results if I had taken in a lot of water.

Well I exercised 4 days in a row. Awesome, but may have been a little bit too much too soon. I’m one of those people that gets addicted to it very quickly. One of my famous distorted thinking patterns is the “all or nothing” thought process. And I AM working on that but I think it’s a part of me so it may not be a good idea to get rid of it completely.

I also gave it my all when I exercised last week. I really went for it with the resistance training. I counted swimming with my daughter because making sure she doesn’t drown is actually work when it comes to my out of shape body. This week I’m going to aim to take rest days along the way rather than at the end of a huge energy burst. Every other day would be better than what I did last week.

All round more veggies are needed. I did great eating lots of produce, but it was heavy on the fruit, which I’m not going to knock, but more greens will be beneficial to me this week.

Dinner Jan 10

What are my measurements like? Well here it is: I lost a total of 4 pounds and I kept it off on my treat day (yay). I lost one inch around my hips and butt, one inch from my belly and half an inch from my boobs. As much as I kinda like the size of my boobs since having a child and gaining this weight, it’s going to have to be something I sacrifice in order to get to where I should be.

As Tony Robbins says, “Nothing tastes as good as good health feels!” And let me tell you, how I have been feeling this past week is FANTASTIC, once I got over the original withdrawal from junk. At the end of my treat day feed, I had to run to the bathroom several times, had tummy aches and lethargy had come back. Hmmmm…I wonder why?

January 5th – What Motivates YOU?

This post might be long because my experience this morning reminded me of previous experiences with weight loss.

Let’s go back, waaaay back to when I was young and stupid – planning my wedding – ha ha Stephen just kidding! It was April and I had just embarked on my weight loss plan so I could be incredibly sexy for the wedding which was in August.

A week or so in I started to not feel very well. I complained about it a little and my hubbie said something along the lines of “You’ll never follow through.” That I always get sick or whatever when I start a program. (Now to be fair to him, there is some truth to what he was saying, in the past this was a repeating pattern). At the time I didn’t feel this is what was happening but what really got my goat was what he said. I didn’t say anything but I thought, “Ok Fucker, I’ll show you! We’ll see won’t we?”

And I went on to lose about 35 pounds, got myself down to 137.

Know what? I looked REALLY GOOD! Too bad I don’t have bikini pics from the wedding trip to compare to the current ones lol. It’s now about 50 pounds later so you can imagine the difference it would be.

Well over the years Stephen has tried to motivate me. He knows that I am not happy the way I am. He also knows that the route I’ve been taking is going to probably kill me early. I mean we don’t know for sure right? But I am definitely a good candidate for all the current faves: Diabetes, Heart Disease and Cancer. Bottom line is I need to do something about this. Hence, this blog was born because it really makes me accountable!

How has Stephen tried to motivate me? Well those who know me know I love to spend money. If it weren’t for Stephen, I’d be in a big trouble I think. Basically I like to eat my money. Money goes to junk and fast food. And then there’s the shopping – I love getting new clothes.

So you’d think that if I’m given the opportunity to blow a bunch of money if I do the simple task of getting healthy,( which I should be doing automatically anyway) don’t you think I’d do it?

Nope.

A $1500 bike (it was beautiful I’ll add) that I didn’t have to pay for. I was like, “Sign me up!” Did I follow through?

Nope.

Another attempt: I would get $1000 to blow on clothes. Free shopping spree? Uh YEAH! Did I follow through?

Nnnnnope.

Yet another attempt: He tried to lead by example. We got a Wii, with fitness games, he changed his whole diet, basically eliminated sugar, exercised etc. He ended up losing 15 pounds I didn't know he had. Did I follow through?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnope!

So what is different this time? Isn’t good health, a sexy body and less need for depression meds good enough to motivate me?

Apparently not.

Now I know it’s only been five days, so I can hardly say things like “what’s different this time?” But if you knew how many times I’ve failed since my alkaline cleanse days, you’d know that this is different. I usually don’t make it past a day or two, sometimes even three hours.

“Oh I’ll start again tomorrow…Oh this is the last time…this one time won’t matter.”

Uh Gnat? Everytime you say that it adds up. 

A little fat here and a little fat there. Here’s some fat there’s some fat, everywhere some fat fat…

Just once is fine if it’s just ONCE.

Are you the least bit curious why I’m just so into it this time?

Soon, first another story:

This morning I woke up in tremendous pain. I mean, let’s get serious here, four days of exercise and no break when I haven’t gotten off the couch in years? How can I really expect my body to do that? Stephen and I had planned on going to the gym today while the kid was in preschool. We were going to do some cardio and then some circuit training. I haven’t lifted weights of any kind since 2004.

“I’m not going today.” I thought I was going to die it hurt so much. Stephen said, “I knew you were going to bail.” 

Turns out that this was to his advantage because he had no motivation to go either. And it's not like we were going to be missing out from not going because we'd gone every day since the New Year. I came back in the room a little later saying, "Screw it let's go." And he said, "Awwww I'm already in the stay in bed mode now." LOL. I told him I was going anyway. 

Guess what? We went. I decided to go and I would just take it easy. So there seems to be a common denominator here. If someone tells me (or specifically is it Stephen?) I can’t do something or won’t be able to or whatever – does this get me excited? Hmmm…

Once I was there, and once I loosened up during my cardio I was ready to PERFORM! We did a circuit and at the end I said, “Are we doing another one?” Stephen was like, “Uh, I don’t really want to.” LOL He did it with me because he’s such a great support.

Or was he competing? Who knows? He is a guy after all. All I know is he didn’t really want to do it but he did it anyway. So SOMETHING motivated him!

And what motivated me? I was feeling so great and fit. I didn’t want to stop.

So in the end, what is really getting me going in the first place? Curious?

Stephen has finally found my weak spot. The one thing I can’t say no to. The one thing that I MUST have! I have a tax account that holds the money I’ve taxed myself from the music lessons I teach, and I probably won’t need to pay it to taxes because I don’t make enough in a year.

Here’s the bet we’ve made:

If I meet my goal of 20 pounds, we will use that money to go to my favourite vacation spot: Harrison Hot Springs for 4 whole nights!!!! And if I lose 25 pounds, I also get to have a treatment at their spa, which I’ve always wanted to do!

What happens if I lose the bet though? Hmmmm. That money goes to whatever Stephen wants to spend it on, and it will be most likely on something that won’t benefit me. Like a trip to Vegas or something.

Know what? He ain’t winning! He’s gonna lose so badly he won’t even know what happened. NO ONE is standing between me and Harrison Hot Springs! I wish I could LIVE there!

So Stephen: SUCK A ZUBE! J

So what motivates you? Everyone has SOMETHING that will make the difference to them. You just have to find that special something or someone or reason why you should do it and WILL do it!

Figure it out and join me. The more the merrier!

Tonight's Dinner:

January 4th – What’s The Quality Of Your Exercise?

Well it’s day 4 and I found it tough. Not so much because it’s day 4, but because it’s my first day back at work. Ok Ok, I know what I do isn’t considered work to most people, and in a way that’s true. My job is incredibly fun and rewarding. There is however a lot of energy and preparation involved and then there’s the driving back and forth when teaching 3-4 classes all day, then teaching private students at home.

Anyway, today’s topic is exercise. Now, most success is based on what we eat, rather than how many calories we burn. Burning calories is a nice plus and everything, but it really comes down to what we’re putting in, since you can only burn so much safely.

But I’m a real freak when it comes to exercise when I get on a program. I’m a cardio addict when I get there lol. I probably don’t need to exercise every day but I usually end up doing that. 

So we’ve been swimming every day since the New Year and I promised Kaitlin we’d go again today. This time though, it would only be the two of us. As the day went on I was less and less motivated to go. Partially because I would be totally on my own with Kaitlin and I wouldn’t be able to swim laps to really make a quality exercise session. 

I hinted several times that I didn’t really want to go and Kaitlin stayed strong for going. It was quite cute. Soooooooooo we went.

What I always loved about taking Kaitlin swimming at 4 or 5 is that it is so close to bedtime and she’ll pass right out once she calms down.

We spent over an hour there, some in the wave pool, but mostly in the river run. My muscles were still worked enough for me to be a bit sore tonight. In fact, I’m not even going to bother to put on my Biggest Loser program tonight. I really don’t need it.

But I realized something very valuable today. It’s something that I’ll never forget the next time I start to judge whether or not a certain activity is useful or not.

Where’s the Quality? My muscles were worked. But so what?

What I learned tonight is that I can have the most wonderful time with my daughter. The quality of my exercise is irrelevant. The joy we shared together as she swam BY HERSELF in an area that she couldn’t touch made my day. I have the most wonderful little girl and I’m blessed to have her in my life. The Quality of my exercise came from the relationship I have with my daughter.

I love you Kaitlin!!

January 3rd – Third Day a Charm? Dominoes Can Suck a Zube!

Well it’s day 3. Day 2 if we’re talking being good all day. What a difference today was compared to yesterday.  The lethargy has vanished.  And my dinner was fandabadoozie!  Here’s the pic, oh God, my mouth is watering just looking at it now and I’ve already eaten!!

Stuffed Tomatoes.  Mmmmm I love Tarragon!  My 4 year old didn't think it looked all that good though.  She had raw veggies for dinner lol. 

I even splurged and had a glass of milk after dinner for a treat. “Oh Thank God for simple small pleasures in life!” Stephen was grossed out when I said that. The milk just tasted so good after having hardly any refined sugar (only in my coffee). I guess you just can’t convince a milk-hater eh?

I went for an unplanned swim-excursion today. I didn’t need to go since I was due for a Biggest Loser workout on the Wii today. It's a good thing I went because when I put on the Biggest Loser, the workout was only 12 minutes.  Boy I woulda been pissed! I swam laps again. Wow two days in a row! And it was so easy today! My muscles felt like they were working as if they were in tip top shape. I couldn’t believe it. Isn’t it amazing how the body can adapt? And how quickly?

Now I still looked like a beached whale when I played in the wave pool with my daughter. But you know what? I actually felt a little bit attractive. Those endorphins eh? Quite the little devils they are. Oh well. False confidence is better than none.

Does that even make sense? *shrug* Who cares? I feel great and my body feels clean inside. I haven’t put any junk in it for two days straight So if the red guy in tights comes flying through the H2O water park windows next time I’m there, he can suck a zube.

And what’s up with Dominoes Pizza anyway? So I have them on my “Like” list on Facebook so that I can get deals. I love them.  Yummalicious. I joined so that I could get deals. Any deals? Nope!

So just a couple of weeks ago they are trying to get their fan list up. Great idea I might add. “Get your friends to like us on Facebook and a deal is coming your way and theirs.” Great, so I thought it would be some great coupon.

Now before I go on, I have to tell you that pizza is my ultimate favorite food. I maxed out a credit card in university solely from pizza orders, as I was ordering it every two days at least. It didn’t take long as back then my credit was only $500. And it’s one of my fave dinners to make homemade.

So today I check my wall and they tell us that all of the fans can get half off our order by January 9^th. Arg are you kidding me? You couldn’t wait until I had some success to document? You couldn’t do it for New Year’s Eve? Seriously?

Stephen was like, well we can have it on Treat Day (yes we have those, the way we control how much crap the kid eats as well as trying to have some sort of step to health in place during the week). 

Anyway, do I really want to undo all of my hard work this week by pigging out on my fave food? And believe me it will be a pig out. Half off? Pizza lover? No, actually pizza FIEND!! I’m telling you it’s just way too early for that. I’m not saying I’ll never do it again, I just can’t see undoing a full week’s work (and boy is it work!) over the course of one meal.

So I’ve got four words for Dominoes: GO SUCK A ZUBE!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and here’s 31 more: You ain’t sucking me in to hurt my health all in the name of getting more money in the New Year because you know your sales are going to be lacking!

Happy Health Year everyone!


Oh by the way: I'm down one pound :)

Day 2 - Success, But It's Not Going Well...

I mean, it doesn't help that there's still treats sitting on the counter top...sour cream and onion chips, truffles from Costco, Sweet Georgia Browns and the list could go on.  What is the one thing that really got me going though?  Seeing the 2 litre of Coke sitting there.  Nice and warm too, not tainted by painful cold from the fridge.

But here's what I ended up eating for dinner: Salmon stuffed Sole with veggies.



Is this what the problem is?  Do I need to get rid of it?  Is it just a simple withdrawal from the foods I want to eat 24/7?  I did very well today.  No cheating.  I thought long and hard about it.  Drank some water although not enough, swam laps for 20 minutes.  What did the exercise do for me today?  Normally it gets me happy and hyper.  Swimming is less likely I'll admit because it always knocks me on my ass, even if I just leisurely play with Kaitlin and don't use the time to exercise.

Apparently, according to the hubbie, my demeanor was like night and day from yesterday.  All day I've been quite blah, down, headache.  Haven't had a headache in forever.  Was that because I only had one cup of coffee today?  Seriously?

Updated my Biggest Loser challenge online.  I know you're not supposed to weigh yourself daily, and they tell you not to, however, the field is there so I'm going to fill it in.  So I'm up 2 pounds in one day.

But that's not what's bothering me.  I know the fluctuations will happen.  What bothers me is my mood.  Is it the post-Christmas blues?  I do get those and I get them very badly.  Is it because I want something that's just right there but I "can't" have it because I've restricted myself?

I'm not even going to try humor tonight, it will probably come out quite sarcastic and rude.  Heh..maybe that's what I need.

My positive thought for today?

Food and drink today did not go down like kool-aid, but then, who likes a big red guy in tights anyway?

I'm going forward, staying strong.  I didn't have to exercise today and I did.  Now there's something to celebrate!

January First - Some success, some not...

Well there I was...I've lessened my Seroquel dose at night because it makes me a zombie until noon, where I can't even get up to get my cups of coffee started.  And I want to lessen my coffee intake, so the dose has to go - hopefully it doesn't affect my mood stability negatively.

So, there's no excuse for the first action of the day to be a failure.  My third day with half the dose and I'm actually quite alert in the morning, but there I was brewing a full pot of coffee again.  I'm only supposed to have one rather than 3-4.

Relax Nat, it's New Years Day.  Yeah right.  Who am I kidding?  How the hell am I ever going to reach my goals, and it's a pretty simple non-aggressive one in my opinion?!

Gulp gulp gulp.

"Is that number 3?" Stephen says.

Crap.  Ok ok...let's see what the rest of the day holds.  1700 calories later...ugh.  Kaitlin had a playdate and I made them homemade mac and cheese, sub angel hair for the mac.  It was NOT heart healthy.  But I tell ya, it was delicious.  And the baked potato with the leftover cheese sauce was awesome.  The chocolate and chips leftovers from Christmas went down so smoothly.  Like koolaid.  Wrong analogy?  Oops.

"Hey Nat, what'd you eat today?" My answer?  "Nothing really." Uh yeah.  Ok...

Normally the day would be lost in my opinion and I would just give up and put it off til tomorrow.  But what successes happened today?  There were a few:

1. Began my Biggest Loser game on the Wii.  Started my profile, entered my goals, weighed in and worked the workout chosen for my program.
2. Joined a Biggest Loser app on Facebook - thought that was kinda neat.
3. Made and ate a beautiful salad, chicken, romaine, spinach, mandarins, blueberries, carrots, tomatoes, feta cheese
4. Drank two glasses of water - that's two glasses more than I've drank in 4 months.
5. Took my measurements which are posted below.
6. Took some pictures of me in a bikini I bought for my wedding trip, as well as my current workout clothes.  One word for ya: GROSS.  The back view ain't so pretty and my ass used to be my hot spot.  *sigh*
7. This is the first New Years ever in my life where I did not put things off completely until Jan 2nd, or the first Monday of January.  It certainly wasn't a perfect day but look at what I did on Jan 1st!  Yahoo!

From my sales training, I was always taught to think of the Top 5 of whatever people give two shits about...well lookie there, I came up with 7 for today's actions.  And look at that dayum good salad below.  Mmmmm, I could eat that every day!

Measurements:

• Boobs - 40.5 inches
• Belly Button - 38.5
• Hips/Butt - 43.5
• Body Fat % - 30.5 (we don't know exactly how accurate this is, as we are not used to using Calipers, but I feel that this is probably right based on my past measurements at the gym "back in the day.")

Yuck - I'm painting a picture of a straight and shapely in the wrong way body.  

Ok, I know that I said I wasn't going to post before pics.  But to make this more real for me and to make me more accountable I'm going to have to suffer some embarrassment pain.  I apologize for those who view them.  I don't think these pics are that attractive. 

The first set of pics I'm wearing the bikini that I bought for my wedding trip in Vegas and California.  It is very tight now and I thought that the strap was going to break off.  That would be a shame because I love this bikini and I want to be able to wear it to the beach again.

The second set of pics are me in my more realistic clothing that actually fits me.